Here is a sample script from a comic series I created named Blood Sunrise. The story is a mixture of martial arts action and crime fiction, in the vein of movies like Kill Bill and crime shows like NYPD Blue and Law & Order. Genryu is a boryokudan (Japanese mafia) hitman-for-hire who seeks vengeance for the murder of his sensei.
Page 1(Splash): Genryu uses a small cotton towel to wipe the blood
from his blade. He leers at the camera. Hokusai stands nearby
striking a bold pose, a deep frown on his face. At their feet many
armed guards lie, all completely broken and beaten.
Genryu: YOU'RE NEXT.
_________________________________________________________
Page 2
Hahn Tzo holds a dark black briefcase and has a frightened look on
his face. He is flanked by his two body guards-- large, muscular
men wearing dark black suits and carrying pistols. Behind him the
rest of his guards remain, most looking fearful to approach.
Hahn: F...Fire.
Close-up of Hahn's finger as he thrusts it forward.
Hahn: FIRE! FIRE, YOU IDIOTS!!
Hahn(2): YOU HAVE THE GUNS, NOW SHOOT THEM!!!
Hahn's men step forward and fire their machine guns. His body
guards extend their pistols and open fire.
Close-up of an automatic rifle as its barrel spits out sparks.
Hahn(Off-panel): KILL THEM BOTH!!
Hokusai leaps amongst a group of three men, fighting all three of
them. He is simultaneously kicking one man in the
face, elbowing another in the nose and with his spare hand
throwing a kunai dagger towards the viewer.
_________________________________________________________
Page 3
The blade sticks into the side of Hahn Tzo's briefcase, Hahn's
hand only inches away. He is standing near a white limo.
Hahn: HOLY...
Hahn glances down nervously at the blade and gets a wide eyed look
on his face. He opens the car door and quickly gets in. He yells
at his driver.
Hahn: DRIVER, GO! NOW!! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!
The driver looks up in his rearview at Hahn. Despite the chaos all
around him his facial expression is one of supreme calm. Hahn Tzo
motions frantically at him.
Hahn: STEP ON IT!!!
One of Hahn's bodyguards pulls the other away. They both exit the
fight.
Guard 1: C'MON. THE BOSS IS LEAVING, LET'S GET OUT OF
HERE.
_________________________________________________________
Page 4
Genryu and Hokusai watch as the few remaining guards (3 or 4)
break rank and run away. Near the warehouse exit Genryu sees the
tire screech marks on the ground. Hokusai looks towards the sound
of the car speeding off.
Sound FX: SCREEEEEEEEECH!!!
Hokusai: GENRYU, IT'S HAHN TZO. HE'S GETTING AWAY.
Genryu looks up, towards a large window high on the side of the
warehouse complex. A stack of crates is stacked almost like
stairs leading up to it. (But not exactly. Keep in mind
actual stacking practices.)
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Page 5
Genryu places his hand on the bottom crate. He lifts his foot onto
it and then vaults up.
Hokusai(Off-Panel): GENRYU.
Genryu leaps from the lowest crate to the one above it.
Hokusai(Off-Panel): GENRYU? WHAT ARE YOU...
Genryu vaults higher and higher up the wall, leaping from one
stack of crates to the next. Finally he reaches the very top.
Just overhead is the large glass window.
_________________________________________________________
Page 6(Splash): External shot of Genryu as he crashes through the
glass window. Numerous tiny pieces of glass and wooden debris
scatter all over. Note to artist: There are a few ways i'm
picturing Genryu is posing as he breaks through the glass. One way
is laying horizontally, jumping out with his back first, as if in
a tuck and roll, his sword neatly tucked between his waist.
Another is with his feet first. One foot is fully extended, kicking
through the glass, with the other tucked beneath him. He is holding
his sword with his right hand, and has his left one extended
forward, with the forearm protruded. His head is held low, to
protect his face. Or, if there's another way you picture the shot
working better, by all means please use it.
_________________________________________________________
Page 7
Hahn Tzo sits in the limo, looking nervously out the back window.
His briefcase is lying on the seat next to him, the kunai on the
seat next to it. Hahn turns forward then breathes a sigh of relief.
Hahn: OH...MAN.
Hahn Tzo(2): WHAT A NIGHTMARE! THOSE TWO...
JUST... LIKE A HOT KNIFE THROUGH... THEY
JUST... NEVER SAW ANYTHING LIKE...
Hahn closes his eyes, relaxing. Internal shot of the limo as it
buckles, a massive weight (Genryu) landing on it. Hahn's eyes snap
open.
Hahn: EH...!?
Hahn shouts at his driver.
Hahn: DRIVER, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Driver: I DON'T KNOW, SIR.
Genryu's sword plunges down into the car. Hahn looks at it in
wide-eyed shock as it hovers just a few inches above his
midsection. Hahn looks up at the blade as it withdraws from
the cabin.
Hahn: HOLY....
_________________________________________________________
Page 8
The sword plunges down yet again. Hahn moves over to the right
and leans away.
Hahn: AHH!! OH NO, HE'S ON THE ROOF!
Hahn draws a pistol from his coat. He lies on his back and fires
up into the roof of the car.
Genryu hangs onto the roof of the car with both hands. His sword
is in the holster on his back. Genryu leans away as Hahn's bullets
rip through the top of the car.
Hahn yells at his driver again.
Hahn: DRIVER, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
Hahn's driver is noticeably less calm now and holds the wheel
tensely. He looks back at him.
Driver: I...I'M TRYING, SIR! I CAN'T SHAKE HIM.
_________________________________________________________
Page 9
A bladed sickle bursts through the front windshield of the car,
sending a shower of glass on the driver. A few of the shards cut
into his face.
Driver: AAAAHH!!
He grips the wheel fiercely and tries to keep control of it. The
massive car swerves left and right.
Driver & Hahn: AAAAAAHHH!!!
The limo loses control and careens across the road towards a large
building. Genryu bails off the top of the car. The limo turns
sharply, flips up on its side and skids over to the building. When
it finally comes to rest it is upside down and completely wrecked.
A pillar of smoke rises from the bottom of the vehicle.
Hahn crawls weakly from the broken rear window. There are various
scratches all over his face and rips in his clothes.
Hahn: UNNGGHHHH...
_________________________________________________________
Page 10
Genryu’s boot appears next to Hahn's head. Hahn looks up weakly
and sees Genryu's silhouette looking down at him. (Only Genryu's
eyes and mouth are visible in the darkness.) Genryu stabs his
sword into the ground next to him. Hahn focuses intently on the
blade.
Genryu: ON YOUR FEET!
Hahn stands weakly. He has a nose bleed, various cuts on his
face and neck and generally looks bruised up. Genryu crosses his
arms and looks Hahn over, almost daring him to make a move. Hahn
wipes a trickle of blood from his nose, preparing to speak. As he
does his teeth are stained with his blood.
Hahn: M...MONEY. I HAVE MONEY!
Hahn Tzo motions towards the overturned car.
Hahn: LOOK, JUST LOOK IN THERE. THERE'S 1.5 MILLION YEN.
YOU WANT IT, IT'S ALL YOURS.
Hahn kneels and reaches into the car. He hands Genryu the
briefcase, a large smile on his face. Genryu opens the case
and looks the money over.
Hahn: THAT'S RIGHT, JUST LET ME GO...
Hahn holds his palms up and backs slowly away. Genryu continues to
look at the money, as though he were considering the offer.
Hahn: AND IT'S ALL YOURS. I'LL... JUST... WALK AWAY.
_________________________________________________________
Page 11
Hahn is running and has gotten nearly a block away from Genryu. He
has a large grin on his face. If Genryu is seen in this shot he
should still be in the distance, looking at the money.
Hahn: HEHEH....
Hahn rounds the corner and runs into an alley. He is still looking
over his shoulder, not paying attention to where he is going. He
suddenly runs into a large, immovable object. (Hokusai.)
Hahn falls to the ground and looks up sharply. Hokusai looks down
angrily at him, his face in silhouette similar to the previous shot
of Genryu, a dark frown on his face.
Hokusai: ON YOUR FEET, DOG!
Hahn stands to his feet. He has a sly, confident smile on his face
as he speaks to him.
Hahn: OH, YOU. DON'T WORRY, I PAID YOUR FRIEND BACK THERE A SMALL
FORTUNE IN YEN. I ASSURE YOU, IT'S MORE THAN EQUAL THE COST OF MY
MEAGER LITTLE LIFE.
Hahn(2): TAKE THE MONEY. TAKE IT ALL. BUY YOUR GIRLFRIEND SOMETHING
NICE, EH? BUY BOTH OF THEM SOMETHING.
Hahn winks.
Hahn: I'LL SWEAR ON MY LIFE I ONLY NARROWLY ESCAPED FROM YOU TWO.
Hokusai stands there. Hahn looks at him confusedly.
Hahn: YOU... DON'T WANT THE MONEY?
_________________________________________________________
Page 12
Hokusai doesn't move. Hahn’s face goes expressionless as he comes
to the realization.
Hahn: THEN I GUESS YOU'VE COME FOR MY LIFE.
Hahn sneers at Hokusai as he speaks.
Hahn: YOU WANT TO KILL ME, IS THAT IT? THAT'S WHAT THE OLD
MAN SENT YOU TO DO, RIGHT?
Hahn(2): WELL FINE! DO IT! AND YOU CAN TELL THAT OLD BASTARD I
DIED WITH HONOR, ON MY FEET-- A WARRIOR! I'M NOT AFRAID
OF YOU.
Hahn(3): I WILL NOT FEAR DEATH!
No reaction.
Hahn: DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?! FINISH IT! GET IT OVER WITH
ALREADY!!
No reaction.
Hahn (2): ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! I SAID DO IT! KILL ME! I WANT YOU TO
KILL ME! I WANT TO DIE!
A sly grin spreads slowly across Hokusai's face.
Hokusai: WHO EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT KILLING YOU?
Hahn: WHAT?
Hahn(2): THEN WHAT... WHAT IS IT? WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO...
Hahn's eyes widen and his mouth gapes.
Hahn: No. No! NO!!!
Hokusai's shadow looms over Hahn. In his hand he is holding a
small blade. Hahn backs away fearfully.
_________________________________________________________
Page 13
A short distance away Genryu grins sinisterly as a piercing scream
cuts through the air.
SFX(Hahn Tzo, Off-Panel):
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...uhh....AAAAAAUURRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!
The scene shifts to a broad shot of a small man in a suit standing
in a large, business office. In front of him there is a large
wooden desk. Behind it is a black leather chair facing away from
him. The room is decorated with books on shelves, a large plant in
the corner, paintings, and other symbols of a respected person's
place of business. On the wall there is an image of a tiger in red
ink.
Small man: UMM....MASTER XI, SIR? MASTER XI'AN?
The chair spins around. The man sitting in it is wearing a
pinstriped dark gray suit. He has a heavy build but doesn't look
fat, just big, intimidating. Like a sumo in a suit. He has a cell
phone up to his ear. His head is completely bald, and his age is
roughly between 55-65.
Master Xi'an: YES? YES, WHAT IS IT? I'M VERY BUSY.
The small man looks nervously at Master Xi.
Small man: SIR, THOSE TWO ENFORCERS YOU SENT OUT
EARLIER...
Master Xi: YES, WHAT ABOUT THEM?
Small man: THEY'RE BACK.
_________________________________________________________
Page 14
Genryu and Hokusai enter the office. Genryu is carrying the black
briefcase and Hokusai is carrying a small black box. Master Xi
looks at them highly pleased, smiling.
Master Xi: AHH GENRYU, HOKUSAI, COME IN.
Master Xi(2): I TAKE IT YOU WERE SUCCESSFUL IN YOUR
TASKS.
Genryu: YES, MASTER XI.
Master Xi: EXCELLENT. AND I SEE YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO PRESENT TO ME AS WELL?
Genryu opens the black suitcase on Master Xi's desk. Master Xi
looks at the money within with a look of happiness on his face.
Genryu: I TOOK THIS FROM THE TRAITOROUS DOG, HAHN TZO.
IT IS 1,500,000 YEN. I PRESENT IT TO YOU, MASTER XI.
Master Xi: YES. GOOD WORK, GENRYU. I AM PLEASED WITH
YOUR GIFT. AND YOU HOKUSAI, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
Hokusai: I PRESENT TO YOU A VERY SPECIAL GIFT, MASTER XI.
Hokusai leans forward and opens the box in front of Master Xi's
face. Master Xi looks happily at it's contents. (We shouldn't be
able to see what's in it.)
Hokusai: WE TOOK THIS FROM THE TRAITOROUS DOG, KENOBI
AS WELL, AND NOW PRESENT IT AS GIFT AND TRIBUTE TO YOU,
MASTER XI! (Kenobi was Hahn's name before switching sides.
Hokusai uses it here meaning great disrespect.)
Master Xi smiles pleasedly. His face is presented in sinister
silhouette. In his face, only his eyes and smiling mouth are
visible.
Master Xi: I AM VERY PLEASED WITH YOUR GIFT. YOU
HONOR ME WITH THIS PRESENTATION. BOTH OF YOU.
Master Xi(2): I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU BOTH ARE EXTREMELY
HANDSOMELY REWARDED FOR YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS. GO
NOW AND ALLOW ME SOME TIME TO MYSELF. I HAVE MUCH TO
THINK ABOUT.
_________________________________________________________
Page 15
The scene shifts to yet another small man, in another office. This
one has a desk near a large window, one that allows the moonlight
to seap in ominously. A red leather chair faces away from him.
(The room's motif is meant to subtly imply direct opposition.
Whereas Master Xi's room has a predominantly black theme, this
one is predominantly red.) On the wall there is a large image of
a dragon in dark black ink.
Small man #2: SIR? MASTER HIROKUMI?
The chair spins around. Master Hirokumi is leader of the Black
Dragon crime syndicate. He is a thin man with a very harsh face.
His age is between 55-65. His hair is gray.
Master Hirokumi: WHAT DO YOU WANT!? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M
TRYING TO CONDUCT BUSINESS?!!
Small man #2: SIR, IT'S ABOUT YOUR TRADE DEAL WITH THE
TIGER LOTUS SYNDICATE.
Master H: YES, YES. WHAT ABOUT IT?!
Small man #2: WELL SIR, THERE'S BEEN A FEW PROBLEMS.
Master H: WHAT?!! WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS?
The small man gets a very frightened look on his face as he tries
to explain.
Small man #2: IT SEEMS THE DEAL WAS BROKEN UP. IT FELL
THROUGH AT THE LAST MINUTE.
Master H: WHAT?!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! WHERE'S
HAHN TZO! HE TOLD ME HE HAD EVERYTHING UNDER
CONTROL. HE SAID HE'D HANDLE THIS!!
Small man #2: THERE WERE... COMPLICATIONS.
Master Hirokumi beams angrily at him.
Master H: 'COMPLICATIONS'?! WHAT KIND OF COMPLICATIONS?
Small man #2: WITH RESPECT, MASTER HIROKUMI, IT SEEMS
THERE WAS A GROUP OF GOODNESS LEG MEN WHO RAIDED THE
WAREHOUSE AND CAUSED THE TRADE DEAL TO FAIL. HAHN TZO
WAS BADLY INJURED AND HAD TO BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL.
Master H: GOODNESS!? THAT OLD FOOL, MASTER XI'AN, HIS MEN!? THAT'S
WHO INTERFERED WITH MY BUSINESS?!
Master H(2): ...
Master H(3): I WILL DEAL WITH HIM.-- HOW MANY WERE THERE?
Small man #2: SIR?
Master H: I SAID, HOW MANY MEN WERE THERE? HOW MANY
ATTACKED?
The small man starts to look even smaller as he forces the words
from his lips. He speaks in a voice just above a whisper.
Small man #2: Two.
Master Hirokumi is outraged. The small man
quakes under the thunder of his voice.
Master H: TWO?! TWO?!! THAT'S ALL!?! ONLY TWO MEN?!!
Master H(2): THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!! I WANT ANSWERS FOR THIS!
SOMEONE WILL PAY DEARLY FOR THIS SHAMEFUL FAILURE!
_________________________________________________________
Page 16
Master Hirokumi continues to look scornfully at the small man as
he speaks.
Master H: I NEEDED THAT DEAL TO GO THROUGH WITHOUT A HITCH TO
CEMENT RELATIONS BETWEEN ME AND THE LEADER OF THE TIGER LOTUS
SYNDICATE. AFTER ALL THE BLOODSHED BETWEEN US I WAS DEPENDING
ON THIS TRADE DEAL TO GO SMOOTHLY. TO ENSURE THAT THERE WOULD
BE A CEASE FIRE AND A PERMANENT END TO HOSTILITIES.
Master Hirokumi gets a worried look on his face as he plots his
next move. The small man looks on with awe.
Master H: NOW I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WILL AFFECT TALKS OF A LASTING
TRUCE BETWEEN OUR TWO GROUPS. THOSE WERE ALL MY MEN
GUARDING THAT WAREHOUSE. THE TIGER LOTUS SYNDICATE WILL BLAME ME
FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN. THEY WILL SAY I DID NOT PROVIDE ADEQUATE
SECURITY FOR THEIR MEN, OR THEIR SUPPLY TRUCK. BUT... I HAD THAT
PLACE PACKED WITH GUARDS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS COULD'VE...
Master H(2): ...
Master H(3): THIS IS THE TYPE OF THING THAT COULD START A CITY
WIDE GANG WAR!
Master Hirokumi looks with total seriousness at his small
assistant. He has his right fist in his left hand defiantly.
Master Hirokumi: WHERE IS HAHN TZO? WHATEVER HOSPITAL HE’S HOLED
UP IN-- I DON’T GIVE A DAMN IF HE’S IN A CATATONIC STATE-- I WANT
HIM IN HERE WITHIN THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES. NO, TEN. EVEN IF YOU
HAVE TO DRAG HIM OUT WITH THE MACHINES STILL ATTACHED.
Small man #2: WELL SIR, HAHN DID HAVE TO BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL
BUT HE DIDN’T STAY LONG.
Master Hirokumi: WHAT? THEN WHERE IS HE?
The small man opens the door and Hahn Tzo enters, a dismal look on
his face. Master Hirokumi gleams furiously at him.
Master H: HAHN, WHAT HAPPENED?! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED TO
ME?! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!? YOU SAID YOU HAD EVERYTHING
UNDER CONTROL.
_________________________________________________________
Page 17
Hahn says nothing. Master H barks angrily at him.
Master H: WELL?! DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!? HOW
DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR THIS MISERABLE FAILURE? YOU'VE BROUGHT SHAME
OVER THIS ENTIRE ORGANIZATION.
Master H(2): AND WHAT IS THIS ABOUT YOU BEING RUSHED TO THE
HOSPITAL? NOW HERE YOU ARE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, NOT A
SCRATCH ON YOU. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED BACK THERE?!!
Master H looks Hahn over studiously.
Master Hirokumi: JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE, HAHN? IS
THIS YOU MAKING YOUR PLAY, IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? I'M NOT AS YOUNG
AS I ONCE WAS BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, I CAN STILL REPEL AN ATTEMPT ON
MY ORGANIZATION BY A YOUNG PUNK LIKE YOU.
Hahn Tzo still says nothing. This time, a slight frown has
developed on his face. Master Hirokumi's expression softens and he
looks at Hahn with a semi-puzzled look.
Master H: I DON'T GET IT, HAHN. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY BEST
MEN. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LOYAL SOLDIER;
PERHAPS I'D BETTER RE-EVALUATE YOUR DEVOTION TO ME.
Master H(2): WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ANYWAY? CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE
OR SOMETHING?
The small man chimes in.
Small man #2: YOU SEE SIR, THAT'S JUST IT.
_________________________________________________________
Page 18(Splash): Master Hirokumi recoils in disgust, turning away
from Hahn Tzo. He has his hands up, as if shielding himself from
the sight. Hahn Tzo has his mouth wide open and he is leaning over
the desk, showing his Master he no longer has his tongue.
Small man #2: A CAT HAS GOTTEN HIS TONGUE.
_________________________________________________________
Page 19
Master H goes through a series of different faces, genuinely not
knowing how to react to this. Then his expression goes darkly
cold.
Master H: THE RESTITUTION FOR THIS ACT AGAINST MY PEOPLE WILL BE
SWIFT AND DECISIVE. I WANT THE NAMES OF THOSE TWO MEN ON MY DESK
BEFORE THE NEXT SUNDOWN.
Small man #2: YES SIR!
Master H: I WANT THEIR HEADS ON A PLATE BEFORE THE NEXT MORNING.
PUT BOTH THEIR HEARTS IN A BOX AND MAIL IT TO MIYOZAKI OF THE
TIGER LOTUS SYNDICATE AS A SHOWING OF GOOD FAITH. BRING THEIR
LIVERS TO ME--
Master H(2): --I'M GOING TO EAT THEM!!
Small man #2: SIR, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
Master H looks at the small man with a frown on his face.
Master H: I'M GOING TO NEED SOME OUTSIDE ASSISTANCE FOR THIS ONE.
IT'S TIME I CALLED IN A FEW FAVORS. GET ME LO CHI MINH IN HONG
KONG. JUST REMIND HIM ABOUT THAT WILD NIGHT IN TOKYO. HE'LL
UNDERSTAND, TRUST ME. THEN TELL HIM I NEED HIS HELP.
The small man gets a frightened look on his face when he hears
it.
Master H: TELL HIM TO SEND ME KAMO-SAN.
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